


Oblivion

by lightherons



Series: Epiphany [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Torture, Suicidal Ideation, Vampire Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-13 00:56:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11748765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightherons/pseuds/lightherons
Summary: She doesn't know what to do, does she hug him - and risk him feeling and hearing her blood, does she touch him - and risk him flinching away because no one knew exactly what he'd suffered at the hands of the Seelies, or does she leave him - and risk him closing off forever.





	Oblivion

"Alec, please," Izzy begs, on her knees in front of her brother. Clary had left hours ago, leaving the siblings with their now dead brother. Their brother who hasn't spoken since they had walked away from everyone else. He stares a spot on the table in front of him, avoiding Izzy's eyes. She doesn't know what to do, does she hug him - and risk him feeling and hearing her blood, does she touch him - and risk him flinching away because no one knows exactly what he'd suffered at the hands of the Seelies, or does she leave him - and risk him closing off forever.

She looks at Jace for direction, but Jace is almost mimicking Alec. Stone, cold, unfeeling. It's as if she's the only one who still thinks there's still something to be happy about. As if she's the only one who hasn't given up.

"Talk to us, big brother," she pleads, taking his hands in her own and squeezing them.

"What happened, Alec?" Jace asks, turning his head. "We thought you were dead."

Alec, finally, looks up. "I thought I was too. They took me and forced me to drink something from them which meant I couldn't leave." He looks down and stares at that spot again. "Time moves differently in the Seelie Court. I was there for a month. I don't know how long it was here."

"Two weeks," Jace tells him.

Alec nods. "Well, for that  _ month _ , they-" He stops himself. "Don't make me say it." He looks at the two and begs them with his eyes to just drop the subject. "Just let me take care of it."

Izzy swallows the lump in her throat because she knows exactly what Alec means. She looks at the windows that they've covered. Sunlight peaking in.

"No." Jace is adamant, eyes almost glowing that gold color that always looks so foreign to her. "You promised me."

"That was when I was a  _Shadowhunter_ , Jace, and I knew that it would hurt _ you _ because we're  _ parabatai _ ."

_ All Shadowhunters have a Death Wish _ . Izzy knows her brothers have some of the biggest. She's not surprised to hear either of them say it anymore. Alec throwing himself at the Memory Demon, Jace leaving with Valentine, Alec not backing down when his life was in danger just to find Jace, Jace willingly going to the City of Bones in exchange for saving Alec's life, Alec on the rooftop, Jace trying to destroy the Soul Sword.

Her brothers are some of the strongest people she knows, and she understands that sometimes they break.

"We're not anymore," Alec continues. "They  _ broke _ that. They broke  _ me _ ."

"I don't care," Jace insists. "I  _ felt _ you die, Alec. I  _ felt _ every moment of it." His eyes tear up as he places a hand over his side - where their rune once rested.

"We were so scared," Izzy says, "we couldn't find you. Some of the people we talked to said you had gone somewhere with Magnus, but no one could find him anywhere. Jace kept getting these pains that we couldn't explain with anything else  _ but _ the  _ parabatai _ bond. Then, the Seelie Queen summoned us and we  _ knew _ ."

"You died the day before we were summoned. I felt it," Jace says again. "You've died on me twice now." He tries to smirk but it falls before it can form.

"I held on as long as I could," Alec tries. "I fought as long as I could."

Jace frowns and sits down next to their older brother. "We know you did. No one - not even  _ me _ \- can resist torture for that long."

Alec inhales sharply, as if the word  _ torture _ hadn't crossed his mind.

"They  _ tortured _ you, Alec," Izzy says, frowning. "Whatever happened in the Seelie Court is not on you. It's on  _ them _ ."

"Magnus is the one who took me to them and left me there," Alec looks down. "I thought he loved me."

"I don't know what that idiot Warlock is thinking, Alec," Izzy tells him. "I don't know if he's lost his mind or he has a game up his sleeve or he's hurt and angry, or just a complete  _ asshole _ and none of us knew, but we need to deal with  _ this _ now. Magnus has made his choice. We have to make ours."

"War is starting in New York and it won't be long before it reaches every corner of the Earth," Jace frowns.

"You should get out. Everyone should leave, the Queen wants the Clave gone and the Institute is right in her way."

"We're not leaving," Izzy tells him. "This is our home and we're Nephilim. We don't go down without a fight."

Alec smiles, although sadly.

"Izzy," Jace says, suddenly. Izzy looks at him. "Can you give us a moment alone?"

She frowns and looks at Alec who nods to her. She sighs and stands. "I'll be right outside." She leaves, reluctantly, and wonders why they want time alone.

As she leans against the door, she slides to the floor and inhales a shaky breath. The events of the past two weeks are getting to her. Alec going missing, Jonathan being alive, Max getting hurt, Jonathan being  _ Sebastian _ . She had thought she couldn't take much more, but then Alec was kidnapped and turned into a Vampire and there was  _ nothing _ she could do to fix it. She felt helpless and childish and stupid.

She closes her eyes, glad that she is glamoured and that no one can see her, and cries into her arms, trying to keep herself quiet.

Alec had been  _ dead _ . They had just found out Max would be okay when Jace collapsed and became unresponsive. When they asked what had happened, they were told that it was the  _ parabatai _ bond. That it meant Alec had died.

When Jace had woken up, a dead look in his eyes, Izzy knew it was true.

By the Angel, she needs to tell her parents and Max that Alec wasn't gone.

"Ah!" She shoots up when she hears a gasp coming from the apartment. She uncurls her bracelet and opens the door, freezing when she sees the scene on the couch.

Alec is holding Jace's wrist in his grasp as he bites into it. Jace has his eyes closed in pain, but isn't fighting it.

She takes a step forward to stop Alec, thinking he'd given into the Vampiric desire when Jace holds up his other hand.

"Don't," he says, voice shaky. Jace opens his eyes after a moment and looks at Alec. "Alec," he says, softly.

Alec opens his own eyes and Izzy can see the effort it takes for him to let go of Jace's wrist.

"Best blood in the world, huh?" Jace jokes, but Izzy can see the pain behind it. She lets go of her whip and runs over to Jace's side to apply an  _ iratze _ , though still curious as to what they were doing. "It's how Simon became a Daylighter," Jace tells her, as if he read her mind. "Without our big brother, how will we ever survive? I don't think the Clave will let us become night-owls and this makes life easier for him."

She can see the strain it put on Jace's body, but Alec looks a lot better.

"Just.. don't go telling everyone about my blood or-"

"Or you'll become a walking miracle cure that would get kidnapped and we'd have to save your ass," Alec laughs. "Trust me, I'm not going to tell anyone."

Izzy bites her lip. "What happens now?"

Alec shrugs. "Raphael wants me to come with him, join his clan."

"Raphael's not a bad guy," Izzy says. "He'll watch out for you."

"It's not Raphael I'm worried about, it's his friends. Like he said, Lightwood Blood isn't something anyone's going to let slide," Alec frowns. "Besides, if I'm part of the New York Clan, then I'd have to deal with certain people I'd rather not."

"Like Magnus?" Jace asks, looking down.

"Yeah, like Magnus," Alec replies. "He hurt me and.. I don't know why. Maybe he just thinks I'm not worth the effort."

Izzy's eyes light up in fury at the thought of her brother even  _ considering _ that. But.. what if that  _ is _ why Magnus is doing all of this? What if he decided that he doesn't want to put in the same amount of effort that Alec does.

Maybe he doesn't get what love does to Shadowhunters.

"If he does," she says, bending down so that Alec can look her in the eye. "High Warlock or not, Accords or not, I will personally kick his sparkly ass."

Alec frowns. "He has valid reasons for all of this."

"No, he doesn't," Jace interrupts. "You didn't tell him about the sword, because you knew it would lead to war. You didn't believe him about not being Valentine, because I told you not to. You have apologized enough for things you didn't mean to do." He shakes his head. "Magnus doesn't get to just  _ apologize _ and everything is forgiven, not for this. We're in our twenties and we know better than to start a war over this. He's hundreds of years old."

"The point is," Izzy says, "You do not have to do anything you don't want to, Alec. Talk to Raphael, explain why you don't want to see Magnus, and I'm sure he'll help you."

Alec nods. "I'll give it a try. If not, I can always find a place to stay on my own."

"That's the spirit." She stands. "Come on, we should get you to Raphael before he starts freaking out."

Alec nods and stands with her. Jace stands after, a little unsteady, but Alec's hand on his arm keeps him up. The two smile at each other before they leave the apartment, ahead of Izzy.

She crosses her arms over her chest after picking up her whip. "After that, we have a war to fight."

**Author's Note:**

> Looking for prompts in this series! See series page for more information on the verse.


End file.
